Climate change is like someone comes up to you and tells you your super strict aunt is visiting, but your house has seen 3 parties over the weekend and is a mess. You’re not quite sure if the person is serious or not, some people say ‘QUICK! We need to tidy the house NOW! She’ll be here in an HOUR!’ and other people say ‘Your aunt isn’t visiting, it’s all a huge lie, and besides, the house is still habitable!’
Sure, you can work around the pizza trodden into the carpet, maybe lay a rug over the teenager vomit, wear shoes so the spilled beer doesn’t soak into your socks.
But if you spend a little time and effort cleaning the house, even if your aunt isn’t coming, you still have a lovely clean house! If you keep measures in place to keep it clean, no more wild parties, a few storage baskets, invest in a roomba, it’ll stay clean for when your children live there too.
And if your aunt is actually coming, and you DON’T clean the house, you’re totally and utterly and without question, fucked.
By the way during this whole extended metaphor your aunt is, at that very moment, knocking on the door. And people are still yelling that she’s not actually coming
My land lady is a 90lb 88 year old woman with 5 full grown Rottweiler boys. They sit around her when she gardens and watch her like the secret service. If you show up to pay rent they all stand up and stand between you and her.
It’s intimidating to have 5 pony size boys all staring at you until she stands up realizes it’a you and walks to you.
My favorite part is she wades through them like swamp water saying in her cute old voice ‘move’ ‘move please’ and each one she nudges to move wags his whole body at her touch and stumbles out of the way like he’s been knocked over by a truck. It gives me life paying my rent.
